Some Thoughts on Burnout

My best work? Helping a woman move from burnout to brilliance.

Really, it’s kind of a tagline all on its own.

Funny thing is, it took me a while to realize that’s exactly what I’ve been doing, for others and for myself.

Because the truth is, I’ve spent the past decade walking that path, step by messy step, back to my own brilliance.

Before I get into that story, take a moment and consider the following list:

I notice I'm isolating from others more

I feel easily overwhelmed

I have trouble making decisions

I have trouble keeping commitments

I often feel irritable and have frequent outbursts

I blame myself and others excessively

I feel resentful and angry often

I have looping negative thoughts that I cannot shake

I feel apathy/flat about life/experiences/family/career

I've got brain fog and have difficulty concentrating

I'm noticing that I have avoidance behaviors eg. avoiding conflict and difficult situations

I often feel physically tired even after a full night’s sleep

I have a lack of interest in activities I used to enjoy

If you said yes to some or all, burnout might be a thing for you. Don't worry...help is on the way!

Now just sit right back and you'll hear a tale....

Does anyone have the Gilligan's island theme song in their head now?

How about now?

By the time I left my first corporate gig, I was fried...energetically, emotionally, physically.

And when I say "gig," I mean a 24-year career at a Fortune 100 company in the financial industry.

The first 18 years? Honestly, not bad.

Partly because they were good.

Partly because my conditioning told me that success looked like a solid career. A steady paycheck. A full benefits package.

I was “winning.”

But I remember sitting in my office in 2013, feeling completely discouraged.

Hopeless.

Lost.

2014 was going to mark my 20-year anniversary.

So I made a deal with myself: just get to 20.

Just one more year. Maybe things would feel better by then.

Twenty years was a milestone...there was even a club for it.

I hit the milestone… and skipped the club.

Years 20 through 24 were a blur of reorgs and instability.

My team was "lifted and shifted" five times.

I had six different managers in four years.

Each time, I had to prove our value, train a new leader, shield my team from the chaos, and adjust to new strategies...about every 6 to 9 months.

Then, in 2018, my younger brother died.

That loss cracked something open.

It reminded me: we don’t always get all the years we think we will.

So I gave my notice.

No next job.

Just a fresh coaching certification, a vision, and a quiet knowing: it was time to build something different.

My boss sent out the perfunctory 'wish her the best in her future endeavors' email.

He spelled my last name wrong and highlighted what a great smile I had.

I'd won numerous awards, both national and international, and worked for this company for over half my life and this jackass wrote about my smile?

My last day was 24 years - to the day - from when I'd started.

I remember driving downtown to turn in my equipment. It was a beautiful day.

I thought how weird it was that so many people were paying for the gas to drive, in rush hour traffic, to pay for parking and work for a company that would give them only 5 days to grieve the death of a loved one and probably misspell their name somewhere.

I turned in my equipment to some stranger behind a counter, signed something and walked out.

It was surreal.

Burnt to a crisp. That was me.

As I looked back on that career, I realized something unsettling: I never felt truly secure in my job. Not in a “they’re-about-to-fire-me” kind of way, but in a “you’d better keep proving yourself forever” kind of way.

There was no finish line. Just an endless loop of pressure.

I can still hear the advice echoing from every direction:

Do the work of the job you want.

Under promise and over deliver.

Run a lean team.

Be a team player.

Make your manager’s life easier.

Over and over. Again and again.

I didn’t burn out.

The system burned me out.

The system doesn’t work for workers.

It really doesn’t work for women.

And if you’re anything other than white or straight, the obstacles multiply.

Call it patriarchy. Call it corporate capitalism. Call it the matrix.

Whatever name you give it, the truth is: it’s not built for us and it’s only gotten worse since I left.

There’s this exhausting pressure on women to prove ourselves over and over.

We’re expected to be pleasant, polished, and productive…

But not too emotional. Not too assertive.

And definitely not too expensive...even when we’re doing better work for less pay.

One of my clients recently left her job.

Her workload? Divided among three men.

But I’m sure someone out there could mansplain why that makes sense.

About a year after I left that career, I accidentally wandered right back into the same kind of system.

I say “accidentally” because I genuinely believed this company was different. Spoiler: it wasn’t.

But hey, on the upside, it only took me five years to leave that one. It gets easier to walk away.

What I know is this: no amount of self-care, therapy, PTO, office “culture,” or color-coded calendars will fix it.

Not if you work for a company that doesn’t actually value you as a human being.

Why is work-life balance always the worker’s job to manage?

There’s a whole system designed to keep the blame on you...for being too sensitive, too slow, too tired, too much.

And when you can’t “handle the pressure,” it’s your mindset. Your resilience. Your problem to solve.

There’s strategy in that.

Fear is a feature, not a bug, in workplaces that run on extraction.

Let’s talk about extraction.

In workplaces that run on extraction, the goal isn’t to support you. It’s to squeeze every ounce of energy, time, and talent out of you for as long as possible. Think of it like mining: take everything of value, leave the shell behind...even if it causes damage in the process.

These systems are intentionally built to keep people compliant, overextended, and self-blaming because that’s what keeps the extraction machine running.

In that kind of system, fear isn’t some unfortunate side effect. It’s the fuel.

Fear of being let go.

Fear of not doing enough.

Fear of speaking up.

Fear of being labeled “difficult” or “not a team player.”

That fear keeps you compliant. It keeps you pushing through.

It keeps you blaming yourself when the truth is, the system was never designed for your well-being.

It was designed to extract.

Sometimes, the pressure is so normalized, so woven into your day-to-day, you don’t even realize it’s there...until your body breaks down, or your spark goes out.

But it is there.

And once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

So if you’ve felt overwhelmed, exhausted, or like you’re “just not cut out” for the hustle anymore...pause before you take on more blame.

What if it’s not you?

What if the system is doing exactly what it was built to do…and it’s time for you to choose something different?

Burnout isn't your fault but healing is your power.

Burnout isn’t a personal failure.

It’s something that happens to you.

A slow, steady erosion by systems that demand everything and give very little back.

It’s not in your head. It’s in your body. Your spirit. Your sense of self.

And while the path out isn’t always easy, it doesn’t have to drain your soul.

This is where I come in.

I’ve lived it. I’ve left the system. Twice.

And I’m never going back.

That’s the nutshell version of my burnout-to-brilliance story.

It changed everything...including my career.

Now, as The Midlife Brilliance Coach, I help women write their next chapter.

One with more truth.

More light.

More freedom.

And a whole lot more you.

Now about that list at the beginning of this post...all those burnout symptoms? If you're ready for your next chapter, I'm here for it.